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Blonde Needs a 710 A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten. We all looked at each other and another customer asked, "What is a seven-hundred-ten?" She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one.." She further added that she did not know exactly what it was, but this piece had always been there. The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to another car which had its hood up and asked "is there a 710 on this car?"
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Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall? There was a power outage, and twelve blondes were stuck on the escalators for over four hours. |
| Blond Carpenters Two blondes with hammers, Carol and Donna, were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity house. Carol, who was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail , and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in. Donna, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?" Carol explained, "When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end , and I throw them away." Donna got completely upset and yelled, "You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!" |
Helloooo.... A blonde's car gets a flat tire on the Interstate one day So she eases
it over onto the shoulder of the road. She carefully steps out of the
car
and opens |
the trunk, takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them and stands them at the rear of
the vehicle facing oncoming traffic. The lifelike cardboard men are in
trench coats exposing their nude bodies to approaching drivers... 
A blonde went to an eye doctor to have her eyes checked for glasses. The doctor directed her to read various letters with the left eye while covering the right eye.  The blonde was so mixed up on which eye was which that the eye doctor, in disgust, took a paper lunch bag with a hole to see through, covered up the appropriate eye and asked her to read the letters. As he did so, he noticed the blonde had tears streaming down her face. "Look," said the doctor, "there's no need to get emotional about getting glasses." "I know," agreed the blonde, "But I kind of had my heart set on wire frames." |
Golf Balls A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. |
Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls." Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully and finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"| Blonde's Cookbook Monday: It's fun to cook for Ron. Today I made an angel food cake.The recipe said to beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to lend me some extra bowls. |
A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife, Susie, something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decided to buy her a cell phone.
"Hi Susie," he said, "how do you like your new phone?" Susie replied, "I just love it! It's so small and your voice is clear as a bell, but there's one thing I don't understand though..." |
Tuesday: Ron wanted fruit salad. The recipe said to serve without dressing, so I didn't dress. What a surprise when Ron brought a friend home for dinner. 
Goodnight Dear Diary: This has been a very exciting week. I am
eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe for Ron. If I can
talk Ron into buying me a larger oven, I am going to surprise him with
a chocolate moose. 
He showed her the phone and explained to her all of its features.
SUSIE was excited to receive the gift and simply adored her new phone.