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After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" 
Did you hear about the school teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his snow boots? He asked for help and she could see why. Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on. By the time they got the second boot on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost cried when the little boy said, "Teacher, They're on the wrong feet." She looked, and sure enough, They were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the right feet. He then announced, "These aren't my boots." She bit her tongue, rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?", like she wanted to. Once again, she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet. No sooner had they gotten the boots off when he said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear 'em." She didn't know if she should laugh or cry, but mustered up what grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again. Helping him into his coat, she asked, Now, where are your Mittens?" He said, "I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots." She will be eligible for parole in three years. |
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A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper. "Hello?" "Is your daddy home?" he asked. "Yes," whispered the small voice. "May I talk with him?" "No." "Is your Mommy there?" "Yes." "May I talk with her?" "No." "Is anybody else there?" "Yes, a policeman" "May I speak with the policeman?" "No, he's busy." "Busy doing what?" "Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman." Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?" "A helicopter." "What is going on there?" "The search team just landed a helicopter," Alarmed, concerned and more than a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?" Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle... "ME" |
You Ask Him! A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, The little girl replied, "Then you ask him". |
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. 
"What if Jonah went to hell?" 
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"