Broomstick One
 When Hillary Clinton visited Iraq the Army Blackhawk helicopter
used to transport the Senator was given the call sign "Broomstick One".
And they say the Army has no sense of humor!
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US Military Planning Cutbacks
If Hillary Clinton is Elected
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Never Trust
a Sailor
A lovely young blonde in Kansas City was so depressed that she decided
to end her life by throwing herself into the Missouri River .
She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the frigid water
when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the dock,
crying. He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so much to live for.
I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day."
Moving closer, he slipped his arm round her shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy."
The girl nodded ok. After all, what did she have to lose? Perhaps a fresh start in Europe would give her life new meaning. That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn.
Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the captain. "What are you doing here?" the captain asked. "I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained. "I get food and a trip to Europe, and he's screwing me."
"He certainly is,"the captain said. "This is the Ameristar Riverboat Casino, we never leave Kansas City."
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 What's the difference between a Navy pilot and a pig?
 A pig doesn't spend all his time at the officers' club trying to pick up a Navy pilot.
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Red Neck Special Special Forces
The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit to be called the United States Redneck Special Forces. These Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi, Missouri, Oklahoma, Tennessee and Texas boys will be dropped off into Iraq and have been given
only the following facts about terrorists: 1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus.
5. They are DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the death of Dale Earnhardt.
We expect the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday |
 During training exercises, the lieutenant who was driving down a muddy back road encountered another car stuck in the mud with a red-faced>colonel at the wheel.
"Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the lieutenant as he pulled alongside.>"Nope," replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys, "Yours is." |
| "Well," snarled the tough old Navy chief to the bewildered seaman, "I suppose after you get discharged from the Navy, you'll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and pee on my grave." "Not me, Chief!" the seaman replied. "Once I get out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again!" |
AIR FORCE OFFICERS AND A MARINE
An Air Force officer arrives in heaven. St Peter asks him if he has ever done anything in his life that he believes makes him worthy of admittance to heaven.
The officer flyboy replies, "Yes, I once went into a bar with four of my pilot friends and saw two Marines harassing a young girl at the bar, so being a gentleman I went up to the biggest one and told him to leave this young lady alone. When he refused I told him again more forcefully. This time I slapped him across the face and told this Marine to stand down."
St Peter said, "This was a very good thing to do, and when did you perform this great act?" The pilot replied, "About 5 minutes ago! My friends should be here shortly!" |
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Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new colonel was sitting at his desk when an airman knocked on the door.
Conscious of his new position, the colonel quickly picked up the phone, told the airman to enter, then said into the phone, "Yes, General, I'll be seeing him this afternoon and I'll pass along your message. In the meantime, thank you for your good wishes, sir."
Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young enlisted man, he asked, "What do you want?"
"Nothing important, sir," the airman replied, "I'm just here to hook up your telephone."
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Officer: "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?" Soldier: "Sure, buddy."
Officer: "That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it again! Do you have change for a dollar?"
Soldier: "No, SIR!"
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How do you identify a Navy pilot  at a nudest colony?
He'll be the guy with the small dick trying to cash a check. |
Good Morning!
A Navy man had just retired and started a new job with a private company. After a couple weeks, the manager callled the newly adjusted warrior into his office.
"I need to tell you that your work has been exemplary since you started here, but I have noticed that you are always 10 or 15 minutes late every day. Before you started here, if you came in like this what did the people say to you?
"Good morning Chief"! |
The Best-Ever Response to a "Dear John" Letter Ever
A marine stationed in Afghanastan recently received a "dear John" letter from his girlfriend back hone. It read:
The Marine, with feelings hurt, asked his fellow Marines for any snalshots they could spare of theif girlfriends, sisters, ex-girlfriends, aunts, cousins, etc. In addition to the picture of Becky, Rieky included all the othe pictures he had collected from his buddies. There were 57 pictures in that envelope in addition to this note:
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