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Learn Chinese in 5 Minutes

(Better if you read them out loud, or they may not make much sense)

Three Norwegians went down to Mexico to celebrate college graduation, got drunk, and woke up in jail, only to find that they were to be  executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did  the night before.

The first Sven was asked if he has any last words. He says, "I yust graduated from Saint Olaf in Northfield, Minnesota and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent."

They throw the switch and nothing happens. They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees; beg for Sven's forgiveness, and release him.

The second, Lars, is strapped in and gives his last words, "I yust  graduated from the Gustavus Adolphus in St. Peter and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent."

They throw the switch and, again, nothing happens. Again, they all  immediately fall to their knees; beg for his forgiveness, and release him.

The last one, Ole, is strapped in and says, "Vell, I'm from Iowa State In Ames, Iowa and just graduated with a degree in Electrical  Engineering, and I'll tell ya right now, ya ain't gonna electrocute  nobody if you don't plug this thing in!"

A cocky Department of Agriculture representative stopped at a farm and talked with an old farmer. He told the farmer, "I need to inspect your farm." The old farmer said, "OK, but don't go in that field right over
yonder."

The Agriculture representative said, "Mister, I have the authority of the U. S. Government with me. See this card? This card means I am allowed to go WHEREVER I wish on any agricultural land....no questions asked or answered. Do you understand?"

The farmer nodded politely and went about his farm chores.  Later, he heard loud screams and saw the Department of agriculture representative running for the fence and close behind was the farmer's huge-horned prize bull.  The bull was madder than a nest full of hornets. The bull was gaining on the representative at every step.

The old farmer yelled out, "Show him your card,  Show him your card"!