Thousands of old jokes





AirlLinerThe average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour: 61,000

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

Tom SawyerThe first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

San Francisco Cable CarThe San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.

King of HeartsEach king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:

Spades - King David

Hearts - Charlemagne

Clubs: Alexander the Great

Diamonds: Julius Ceasar

The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $16,400



Google

The three most valuable brand names on earth: 
Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, i n that order.


Green Coca ColaCoca-Cola was originally green.


It is impossible to lick your elbow.


State of AQlaskaThe State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska

African ElephantThe percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%

(now get this...)

The percentage Camping in Americaof North America that is wilderness: 38%

Coconut Tree on Tropical IslandThe liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for blood plasma.


No piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times.

Don't believe. Try it.

Donkeys KillDonkey's kill more people annually that airplane crashes.



An Apple a DayApples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.




Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.

The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer. So did the first " Marlboro Man."


Walt Disney was afraid OF MICE!

Cow Shaking Head It is possible to lead a cow upstairs...

But not downstairs.


TurtleTurtles!

Can breathe through their asses.



Sleeping ManYou burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.

Under the old Oak TreeAn Oak tree does not produce any acorns, until if is at least 50 years old.

Wrigley's Spearmint GumThe first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.


The King of Hearts is the
only King without a moustache!



First Class SaladAmerican Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive from each salad served in First Class.

The Planet VenusVenus is the only planet that rotates clockwise. (Since Venus is normally associated with women, what does this tell you!)


Pearls melt! In Vinegar.



quacking duckA duck's quack does not echo....

No one knows why.


Animated toothbrushDentists have recommended that a toothbrush
be kept at least six (6) feet away from
a toilet to avoid airborne particles
resulting from the flush.


(I keep my toothbrush in the living room now!)